i barfeds in our rink
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Randomize
