so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
