I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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