i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
