I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
