Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
