a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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