i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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