Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
