i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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