My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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