if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
