He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
