omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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