just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm always down for nudity.
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