Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
