dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize