Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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