guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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