the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
