Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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