the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She told me I should be a condom model.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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