is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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