so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
