Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
