Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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