ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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