eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
