I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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