This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
