dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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