I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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