hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
