I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
