I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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