i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it hurts more in the daytime
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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