Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
