why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
