Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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