She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
