You really coming over, don't trick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
