I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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