i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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