Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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