sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
tell me about the eggs
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
