Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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