38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
