Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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