the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
