his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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