She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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