Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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