Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He did a backflip because drugs
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