good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
