I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
