I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
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DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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