i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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