I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
