I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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