And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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