Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
