Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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