if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize