a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
