just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
