ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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