So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
