I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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